


Pot Brings Us Closer, So Pass the Bong

by nikmood



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Crack, Gen, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-04-04 00:42:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4120270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikmood/pseuds/nikmood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Faith and Angel get high.  Angel has a scary mind.  Faith just wants to perv on CJ Cregg's legs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pot Brings Us Closer, So Pass the Bong

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ProphecyGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProphecyGirl/gifts).



Faith stomped into Angel's apartment with a scowl on her face. "Bro!" she yelled. "I gotta find a new dealer. This punk assed middle aged fucktard ripped me off because I didn't want to do the coke that he has cut with God knows what and get down on my knees on his nappy shag carpet and blow him. I swear, this town is full of savages."

Angel walked into the living room with his bong in one hand and his remote in the other. "Chill, firecracker. I'll go over and make him wet himself with my grr face. We can sit here and get baked before going out. I'll even let you choose what we watch while we smoke."

"Oohhh, gimme!" Faith said as she snatched the remote. "We're watching West Wing so I can oogle CJ's legs. I swear, I would sell your soul to have her legs wrapped around my neck."

"Not funny, Faith."

"Chill, Soul Boy. I know nothing can happen to the golden soul thanks to Red. Now fire up Puff the Magic Dragon. I'm tired of being sober."

Angel grabbed the Altoids tin from Faith and got the purple and green bong ready for the evening. Faith loaded Netflix off of the blue ray menu and pulled up West Wing. Taking the first hit off the bong, she selected one of her favorite episodes and hit play as she exhaled.

It didn't take long for Angel's eyes to start to glaze over. He looked at the screen with a goofy grin. "Josh has grown on me. I used to think he was a botard, but I like him now. He has a boyish charm about him. I want to run my fingers through his hair."

Faith turned her head and glared at him. "Are you talking to me during The Jackal? Never talk to me during The Jackal unless you want to know what your balls taste like."

"I'm just saying, Josh is sexy. He has a sexyness that grows on you. I wish I could feel him grow in me. Dude, do we have any Doritos?"

"Man, you are so fucking high right now. Your blathering about how you want to sample Josh Lyman's man meat distracted me from CJ doing the damn Jackal. For that crime against humanity you can find your own fucking Doritos. That, and I can't find my legs right now."

Angel closed his eyes and picked at a thread on the hem of his shirt. "Like, do you ever wonder what it would be like if Buffy had a dick? I mean, she'd still be Buffy and have those perky little tits but she'd also be packing some heat down below". He exhaled sharply and opened his eyes.

"Goddamnit, I don't know what the hell is in this weed, but I am kicking Kenny's ass when I find my legs for selling me this fucked up pot. You are cut off, you pansy assed motherfucker. Where the hell do you even come up with these ideas, you sick fuck?"

Angel looked at Faith with a very serious expression. "I get these ideas from tumblr. And you have a potty mouth. I'm cutting you off, Missy. Now answer my question."

"Fine. Buffy having a dick might be interesting for a day, but after that I'd be squicked. Girlpeen isn't one of my kinks. And if we ever have another conversation like this again I'm cutting your internet off and you can find another wing woman."

"You are such a bitch. I don't want to have to talk to Andrew about this stuff. Can we just call a truce and watch Finding Nemo now?"

Faith nodded, and Angel got up to put the disc in the machine. By the time Nemo went to touch the butt the best friends were cuddling and fast asleep, with Faith snoring and Angel drooling on her chest.


End file.
